Making the Most of the Last Days of Summer

If you haven’t had time to see this summer’s latest blockbuster disaster film, don’t worry. It’s coming to a neighborhood near you real soon.  It wasn’t enough that we weathered the UNNATURAL disasters like the debt crisis fiasco and the Standard & Poors downgrade creating a stock market plunge that smeared poop all over our retirement dreams, AGAIN!

But guess what, there’s a new game in town called NATURAL disasters. It premiered this week with Earthquake Tuesdays available in the DC and the surrounding areas followed by that irascible, uninvited houseguest Irene threatening to ruin everyone’s weekend and wreak havoc all up and down the northeast coast. What a beeach!

All I can say is God must be on another vacation, like the one he was on when the tornadoes ripped up the south and the floods raged in the Midwest earlier this year.

You can’t blame God for wanting to eke out a few last vacation days before school starts and we all know how sketchy cell phone service is on the beach. I bet his i-Everythings have stopped working and he has no idea what the devil is going on. I bet he’ll be more than a little embarrassed when he returns.

Remember when earthquakes and hurricanes were cutesy names for drinks we ordered in bars? AHHH, those were the days.

The Second Coming

My husband turned Vegan, low fat Vegan to be exact. I’m trying to remain positive, but he treats every new dietary approach like the “second coming?” Did I mention he was an Engineer, black and white are his team colors, fingers crossed that a rainbow appears soon.

I’m no slouch. I’m vegetarian 6 days a week and don’t cook meat at home. We belong to an organic vegetable club and are locavores buying at the farmer’s market every week. I’m just saying “would it be too much to ask for a sprinkle of cheese on my veggie pizza?”

He’s doing this for “big picture” health reasons. I completely support that. It’s the day to day “small picture” that’s chafes my hiney. When he asks every single server including the nice woman behind the counter at Taco Bell if her bean burritos contain animal products. BTW good news, she said no.

It’s the fact that I searched for a Vegan-friendly restaurant only to discover upon arriving that their Paella was prepared in chicken broth so he wouldn’t order it. UGHHHH! Hold on a sec, it’s hard to type and barf at the same time!

This too shall pass, just like the low carb Aktins revolution that invaded our home a few years ago. Unfortunately, the passing will signal another “second coming!” YIKES!

Silver lining….Skittles are Vegan and a friend just texted that Tequila is tool! Ta Ta for now! heading out to the liquor store. Sure hope that they have a candy counter!