Mucking Around

To be really good at something you have to be willing to be bad at it for a while….we learn by mucking around.

I can study and attempt to assimilate new information, but the truth is I learn by banging on things. By touching, feeling, experiencing, sometimes screwing up, and then most times FINALLY getting it.

In my younger days, my fear of doing anything that wasn’t “perfect” severely limited me. But now, although I still find learning frustrating at times, I persevere and the personal rewards are phenomenal.

I’ve learned that the more frustrated I am the closer I am to a breakthrough and that a certain amount of re-learning is normal, even though I hate it. In my case, the amount of re-learning is fairly substantial, but I accept that.

So lighten up everyone, enjoy the mucking and the next time you are frustrated beyond belief, instead of taking it out on others or even worse yourself, repeat with confidence these words “I must be on the edge of a breakthrough.” If your situation calls for more colorful language, consider adding the word “mucking” before “breakthrough.” That should do it.

A Recipe For Success

Focus on what you know not what you don’t know, what you have, not what you need, and what’s working in your life instead of what isn’t.

I’ve always had trouble giving myself credit for things. My family will laugh because I was the overly confident child with the dramatic showy exterior. I was the “look what I can do” kid, but inside I was a marshmallow. Okay, more like a stale marshmallow with many tough layers, but I had a soft, squishy center.

I work every day to be the best version of myself that I can be. I read, talk, think, challenge, live, explore. I know that I am strong, confident, content, and happy but sometimes still a little voice challenges my convictions whispering doubts in my ear.

But when I focus on all that I know, all that I have, and how wonderful my life is, the whispers exert no power over me and trail off in the wind as quickly as they come. With a deep breath, my center rises up to meet me, cocooning me, hugging and protecting my innermost squishy part, telling me all is well, and that YES I can depend on me.

Path Blockers

I pay way too much attention to what I don’t know about something and don’t give myself enough credit for what I do know.

This part of what is getting in the way of my completing my website. I’m allowing the few things that I don’t know to get in the way of all that I know. Huh, I think this applies to more than just creating my website, but let’s slay one dragon at a time.

Remember in an earlier post when I said you can learn anything if you are willing to spend whatever amount of time it takes to personally learn it? I am at that crossroads asking myself “Is the time I’m spending to learn to create a website worth it to me?”

Like so many things, the answer is yes and no. I get a strong sense of confidence, satisfaction, and pride doing it for myself, but it is taking a lot of time, an inspired thought might be to get a little professional help with the final details. It wouldn't be the first time someone suggested that I get a little professional help:)

I like inspired thoughts!

The Spoon Licking Gene

This keeps coming up for me almost every day, the spoon-licking gene. I am convinced that once the entire genetic code has been completely mapped, there will be a gene responsible for spoon licking, and almost everything else.

My husband is a big time spoon licker and a finisher. Whenever he clears the table after dinner and is putting away the leftovers, he removes the spoon from the bowl and licks it before placing it in the dishwasher. I, on the other hand, only lick spoons containing cookie dough, kind of a girl thing.

He is also a finisher. For some reason this drives me crazy. If there is a little bit left of something in the cupboard, he will finish it. If there is only a little bit left of something, I consider it already finished, and move on. He also, unlike me, is a “clean plater.” I guess opposites do attract.

Last week when my brother-in-law was visiting, I decided to conduct more of my informal research. I asked him “Are you a spoon licker?” He replied “of course, what else would you do?” Okay, that wasn’t very scientific, but they are brothers and I concluded that the gene is definitely apparent and expressed in my husband’s family tree.

Nature versus nurture, environment versus heredity, habit, genetic determination, you be the judge. But until someone proves me wrong, I’m going to believe in the spoon licking gene.

Wake Up Playful Side

There’s a saying that hangs by the door that leads from my garage into my house. It reads “It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.” I wholly subscribe to this. I WORK hard to get PLAY into every day.

Today, after a couple of glasses of wine, I say to Bob “Let’s go over and look at the neighbor’s hole” (they’re putting in a swimming pool and the concrete was poured today). It took a little coaxing because Bob has to be encouraged to PLAY, but he agreed and we walked over and peered into their backyard.

Walking back I noticed a woman sitting in a chair on the bike/walking path beside our house. I wanted to go up and ask her why she was sitting in a chair on the bike/walking path but Bob pooh-poohed that, which usually makes me want to do it more, but this time I said “okay, let’s just lay in the grass in our front yard and watch her.” So we did.

On closer inspection it looked like she was pregnant and probably just resting, interesting to carry your own chair, you don’t see that every day. Bob and I continued to lay in the grass enjoying feeling its softness underneath us and admiring how the powder blue sky was providing a perfect backdrop for the Chartreuse leaves.

Bob and I agree that it's has been far too long since we laid in the grass looking up at the vastness of the sky, feeling the earth supporting us. I make a mental note to WORK harder at getting more PLAY in our lives.

Tag your it! Play with me. Tell me something you loved doing as a child, red light green light, hide & seek, catching lightning bugs????

Old Dog

My husband and I find ourselves discussing how insane it is that people feel the need to be available 24/7. I remember back when the Xerox repairman and doctors were the ONLY people who carried pagers.

Bob remarks that he tells people at work that email is not an instant messaging service. It is a message forwarding and storing system. That’s my little engineer talking.

Halfway through my first Photoshop Boot Camp class, I realize my cell phone is still on. Of course it takes hearing someone else’s phone ring before I think of it. I dig mine out of my purse, start to turn it off, then hesitate. “What if someone needs to reach me?”

I opt for vibrate and then get annoyed with myself, “since when did what I WASN’T doing become more important than what I WAS doing?” I don't have time for a debate, so I opt to think about it later.

I’m the first to joke about people and their “CrackBerry’s.” But I’m just as guilty as they are, just too cheap to pay for the higher priced model. What happened to my commitment to present moment? I decide that next week I will turn off my cell phone completely. That’s a good start.

California’s new law requiring hands-free cell phone use is sprouting a new breed of individual. My brother-in-law describes them as having a cockroach in their ear. They walk around appearing to talk to themselves making it difficult to distinguish the truly insane from the headset addicted.

I was aware that my mother’s body was inhabiting mine, the mirror doesn’t lie, but I hadn’t realized the extent to which her thoughts were taking over. That was new information.

Rah-Rah Me!

The baby steps along the way to achieving your goal can prove just as satisfying as reaching the goal itself. I experienced this yesterday in my Photoshop Boot Camp Class.

When the teacher starts the demos approximately thirty of us try to follow along on our own computers. Very quickly things get confusing. People react by asking each other questions, and that ends up making it hard to hear the teacher.

This was frustrating the woman next to me. I tried to help her, but she seemed determined to remain frustrated, so I left her alone and continued my work. The woman on the other side of me and I exchanged questions, it seemed what she didn’t understand, I did and vice versa. Good for us.

I suggested to the frustrated woman that she sit a little closer to the teacher so the noise wouldn’t be so distracting. Still angry she quipped “I will next week” and slammed her notebook closed.

Remembering a lesson my life coach had taught me I asked myself “in this moment right now, am I accountable for this?” The answer was “no.” So I let it go.

There was a time when letting it go would have been impossible for me. I used to be a “fixer.” I would have tried everything to make this woman feel more comfortable. But I am more self-aware now.

My response wasn’t heartless, it actually turned out to be helpful (go figure), because I allowed her the space to experience her own strong emotions that weren’t going away instead of trying to solve her problems.

Once I was up to speed on the lesson, I checked back in with her to see if she was willing to accept help. She was, so I helped her nagivate her computer showing her how to arrive at the screen that the teacher was on (ironically by doing this we were engaging in the very activity that she attributed her frustration to).

Later on, when I was thinking about the experience, I felt pride and affection for myself. I had handled the situation in a positve, healthy way. What a great reminder for me of such a great lesson.

Go Caren, Go Caren, Go Caren! That’s the sound of me celebrating myself for one of my baby steps.