Game On

The only thing better than setting a deadline to give youself that much needed kick in the “ars” to get things done is to announce your intention to the world.

It got me back on my blog! I’ve been offline most of January working on myself, looking within, clarifying, and stepping up my game.

I studied marketing myself, living my vision, and radiating my passion. I used the power of daily daydreaming to see the limitless possibilities of my life. I’ve had lots of fun settling into retirement with my husband, but now I’m back and I’m “badder” than ever (the good bad).

I’m stepping into my own power. No more Caren-lite. No more hiding, full-throttle Caren dead ahead. It’s kind of scary for me as well as others. But rest-assured, I only use my power for GOOD.

I’m living authentically, expanding my horizons, and working on attracting my tribe, the people who get me, the people who I can share learning with and also learn from. That is an integral part of who I am. I hope you’ll join me on this journey.

I’ve updated my website and finally I’m able to communicate my passion for the process of FOCUS PHRASE™. I hope you’ll stop by and take a look http://carenalbersinspirations.com/. Your comments and feedback would be a great help to me.

Sometimes we know something so well that it is difficult to communicate it to others. This is not difficult to communicate, IT’S GREAT TO BE BACK!

♥Caren4u

Small Changes in Thinking CAN Make Big Changes in YOU

The Four Day Win (oops I added an “e”and typed wine the first time) is a behavior modification strategy shared with me by Martha Beck Master Life Coach Susan Hyatt shyatt.com.  It nurtures goal setting and I can sure use some help with that?

The process involves setting a four day goal and turning it into a success, a win. You start by choosing a small daily goal that you will commit to doing for four day.  A feasible goal makes a huge difference in succeeding.  So, make your goal, then cut it in half to make it ridiculously easy to achieve. I cut my original goal to write one hour every morning during my genius hours when I'm most creative, productive, and connected down to thirty minutes.

Step two involves giving yourself a small reward every day you achieve your goal.  I put together a basket of small gifts,  material rewards (pens, post-it, nail polish etc.), and post-it notes with nonmaterial rewards like reading for 1/2 hour from a yummy book or watching Oprah. I gotta say the reward part challenges me. But that’s the applause, the pat on the back, the “atta girl” we all crave.

On the fourth day of achieving your goal give yourself a BIGGER reward because you accomplished your Four Day Win. It doesn’t need to be expensive like an e-reader or an ipad (although I’m trying to manifest one) it can be a latte or trip to the park or something else that you like.

Three small rewards followed by a larger one allows you to experience life in small wins.  It breaks goals up into managable bites and creates a natural pause to relax in and enjoy your successes.  Then if you want, you can set another Four Day Win! 

It also provides a psychological boost.  Say I go to a yoga class one time, “I’m trying yoga.” But if I go to yoga four times “I DO Yoga.” See the shift, BE the shift!

LIVE YOUR DREAM

Blog Writing 101

The IDEA, EXECUTION, and PUBLISH POST button are three important elements to consider when writing a blog post. Each can terrify a beginner. But trust me you can do this.

IDEA - write about something you believe in that excites you. Something you are experiencing right now or something that you can’t get out of your mind translate well into blog posts that engage readers.

EXECUTION – short and simple is best. A three paragraph writing style similar to one I use in my Focus Phrase Process is a great structure for new bloggers to loosely follow. I say "loosely" because you may notice that this post does not conform to that style.☺ Also, remember to edit, edit, edit. Ask yourself “is this word, thought, or sentence necessary to tell the story?” If not, no matter how brilliant, lose it.

PUBLISH POST - clicking the publish post button used to paralyze me, but practice does make easier (remember there is no perfect). So NIKE (just do it!) You can always change, edit, or if you totally freak out delete it altogether. Nothing is carved in stone here, RELAX, hit PUBLISH POST and see what happens.

My guess is you will find many who appreciate your message and identify with you. Martha Beck calls them “your people.” Don’t let fear keep you on the sidelines another minute. Put yourself out there, BLOG, find “your people” and start building a tribe.

I’m hitting PUBLISH POST now!☺

LIVE YOUR DREAM

“A JOURNEY OF WORDS"- Discover the wisdom of your own words.

Are you ready to take the next BIG step toward living your dream?

Want to understand yourself better and find more meaning and direction in your life? We create our WORLD with our WORDS. Our thoughts become things. When we tell ourselves we can, we can and when we tell ourselves we can’t, well you know how that usually goes.

The words we use every day get strung together and become the fabric of the stories of our lives. Want your life’s journey to be a beautiful tapestry worthy of you? Join me, Caren4u in an online writing experience focusing on the wisdom of your own words.

Mary Anne Radmacher’s thought-provoking, inspiring words (Radmacher Focus Phrases™) begin a conversation that leads to exploration and discovery. Even if you don’t feel like an accomplished writer this class is for you. It's about so much more than writing. Write to inspire your inner strength. Write to develop a habit of using your own words to keep you focused and aimed in the direction of your dreams.

Focus Phrase writing is a small investment with huge returns. While it is about writing it is more about what you discover as you explore and write. The insight gained doesn’t end when the class ends, it lasts a lifetime.

This is a guided writing process conducted online. I offer feedback unique and specific to your writing and discovery. Encouragement and support, no extra charge, that’s just how I roll!

A JOURNEY OF WORDS begins on June 7th and concludes June 25th. $129 covers three consecutive weeks of writing Monday – Friday. Ready to enroll? Reply to caren4u@comcast.net and I will get you registered and paid.

Want a shorter class, I offer A JOG OF WORDS. $40 covers a one week preview that introduces you to the Focus Phrase writing process. At the end of the week, you can decide to continue on with me or enjoy having participated in the shorter class experience.

Here’s what some of my participants have to share about the process:

“This turned out to be a wonderful opportunity to prod my inner wisdom and to actually allow myself to creatively explore beyond the obvious. I found this to be freeing and exciting.” Anne M.

“I imagined this course would get me thinking about life choices big and small, and help me focus on my needs, but I didn't know that some choices would become very important and very clear. I've been able to set my priorities and complete some challenges that have enriched my life in marvelous and unexpected ways.” Michelle A.

Live Your Dream - http://carenalbersinspirations.com

Falling in Love with Yourself is FOREVER

Spend this Valentine’s Day falling in love with YOU. Our relationships with other people can only be as highly evolved as our relationship with ourselves. It’s like a bank account you’ve got to put love in to be able to take love out. So if you find yourself unattached this Valentine Day or even if you are attached consider taking Self-Love 101 at “YOU University” where YOU are the student and the teacher.


SELF-LOVE 101 - Ten surfire ways to master self-love.

1. Acknowledge Yourself - You’re perfect just the way you are right now – not ten pounds from now, not a new job from now, not a different anything from now. Explore, accept, and love the gift that you are just by being you.
   
2. Cast Off Old Tapes – You know the ones. The ones you’ve been hearing since childhood about who you are. Don’t let other people’s opinions define you. Train your mind and spirit to go beyond other people’s limitations.
   
3. Affirmations Work – Find one that encourages acceptance and self-love. Affirmations are like planting seeds. They don’t look like much in the beginning, but if you tend to them they soon grow and blossom. “I love and approve of myself just as I am” is a great one by Louise Hay.
   
4. Send Outdated Beliefs Packing - Your outward experience always reflects your beliefs about yourself. If you want to change the outside; you’ve got to start on the inside.
   
5. L.I.G. Let-It-Go – Forgive yourself for ALL your past transgressions. Like Dr. Phil says “If we knew better, we’d do better.” Wipe your slate clean. Nobody’s perfect. Compassion and forgiveness begins and ends with you.
   
6. Observes Don’t Judge – Judging and criticizing other people also means that we judge and criticize ourselves. That alone is a good reason to give it up. It’s wonderful when you don’t feel the need to label a thing as “good or bad, right or wrong.” When you observe, it just “is.”
   
7. Embrace Change – This version of yourself is not permanent and neither was the one you grew up with. You can change your thoughts about who you are and change who you are.
   
8. Learn & Grow – Look for opportunities to try new things. It makes you and life more interesting. If you’ve always loved a thing but have never tried it, what are you waiting for?
   
9. Breathe – It makes everything better. Relax and take a deep breath. On the inhale say to yourself “I am” and on the exhale say “loving.”
   
10. Practice, Practice, Practice – We think we learn something and then it’s over, “BAM” we know it. But we learn by doing, by repeating a thing, sometimes over and over and over and over.

Applaud your learning and give yourself an "A" just for taking the course. Loving yourself, respecting and appreciating you is the most powerful thing a person can do. When we fall in love with other people they can leave us, but when we fall in love with ourselves, IT'S FOREVER!

The Pearl

When did “present moment living” take up residence? I’m not certain. During the past two years it’s dropped in and visited. Unexpectedly at first, but a welcome surprise of unparalleled experience. It’s like the infatuation stage of love. Everything looks different, smells different, tastes different, colors shine brighter, meaning becomes obvious, street signs look foreign and new, the world opens before your eyes in a way it has never done before. Did I mention the peacefulness? Oh it is truly blissful I’ll even say “to die for.” Turns out you don’t have to.

I want it to stay forever when it comes, but like a rootless drifter it arrives and leaves on its own schedule. Eventually, I do start sensing its pending arrival. I notice the signs and start inviting it with my best “come hither” and am blessed with remarkable experiences of vividly amazing days that eventually grow into weeks. But still it continues to slip away in the night without so much as a post-it note. But now my unpredictable houseguest/friend has officially moved in and I couldn’t be happier, seriously, no seriously! Its presence is glaringly obvious this holiday season.

I no longer argue with the reality of “what is.” Bob had surgery. I’m not a hero or superhuman. Yes, I am brave and happy for that. But I don’t have to attach a story to it, I simply experience it, lived it, and it’s manageable. Just like not going home for Christmas. Several times, I have been tempted to attach a story to it like that “for fifty-seven years I've spent the holidays with my family” making it BIG. But when I'm present and experience it without a story, it’s not big or sad. It’s actually very peaceful. Like the oyster, I have rubbed up against enough sand that a metamorphosis has occurred and something beautiful has been created inside of me. I always thought acceptance involved the surrendering of your power. It turns out that it involves the surrendering of your stories and the acceptance of your power. “Who knew?

Renaissance

I rarely see the first light of day. I’m not against it, but my natural circadian rhythm wakes me at seven thirty when the sun has made her debut and is already ascending in the morning sky. On those rare days when I do occasion a glimpse of her first rise, I know I have witnessed something truly spectacular, a birth, a new beginning.

I am seeing my own sunrise right now. On the horizon her beauty greets me more brightly each day. She emerges wondrous and whole, a perfect arc arching forward. Her appearance not coincidental, designed, desired, and now required by me. Her presence arrives as beautifully as a bird’s melodic call filling my ears with joyful songs.

It is my calling, my soul’s reach. A hand offered a hand taken, pulling me out of my past into the present where all power lives to create my future. I have answered the call and I smile now, not for the world to see, but for me.

A DIFFERENT OF HO HO HO

Just as I’ve steel myself to resist store ads that create a need that before was not there, I find myself weakly resisting my need/want to be with our families for Christmas.

This is BIG I realize as I lay in bed a little tearful upon waking this morning. I’ve spent EVERY Christmas Day that I have been on this planet (57 years) in Ohio having dinner with my mother and Bob and I have spent EVERY Christmas Eve partying with his family for 30 years. THAT”S BIG!

Bob’s sinus surgery was the impetus. No matter how many times or who I asked (even the doctor right before surgery) the answer was always the same “no travel for three weeks.” So I guess they mean it!

I accept it and even embrace it as my opportunity to change and grow. I always encourage others to “dance that dance” now it is my turn. My life has changed a lot in 57 years but my traditions haven’t.

Matt is grown now living in Florida with his own family and wonderful in-laws that love him. We’re in California new grandparents to Sophia down in Florida with a second home there. I think it’s time to challenge our habits and examine our traditions to find the best way to fit EVERYONE we love in. It is as HARD as you can imagine it would be.

All you people in Ohio, don’t fear, I’m already missing you and the holiday isn’t even here yet. You ARE and always will be an important piece of my life. I love you! But creating a life and traditions with Matt, Sarah and Sophia are important to us now, too.

A treasured place in our hearts is not as good as a spot at the table for Christmas Dinner, I realize that, but some years it may have to do. It sounds so logical when I write it, BUT boy does it yank HARD on the heartstrings.

It may not be on the same days or nights that we have celebrated with you in the past, but I hope to see you sometime every Christmas season. This year a healthy Bob IS my Christmas Wish and the place I’m devoting all of my energy. My first California Christmas.....wonder what that will bring?

My Achilles HeaI

I’m good on my feet and now I’m good to my feet, but I wasn’t always. I took them for granted. I expected them to get me from point A to point B no questions asked, until the day they didn’t.

The day that I stepped on a far too tight muscle, once too often, and pain ensued. The day that with the pain came a message, a reminder of sorts about how a single part effects the whole. The day that the awareness hit me like a freight train that healing comes in its own time on its own schedule not mine.

Now, every day, I wake up slowly languishing in bed for a few moments connecting to my body and spirit, stretching lightly from head to toe, paying special attention to my feet.

I know they intend to support me, but now EVERY DAY I remind myself it’s a two-way street, I must support them, too.

Surrender Is Not a Cinch

A part of what I am learning and writing about is surrende. Not surrender as in defeat, surrender as in acceptance of “what is.” Living without the expectation that things should be different than they are.

Some say that when you stop needing something you get it. That seems to cynical to me. I think that when you release your attachment to needing something, you may still want it, it often manifests.

Here’s an example. You’ll laugh when you realize that this is about Cinch glass cleaner. I have love, love, love this cleaner. The smell is so clean and it doesn’t streak and leaves countertops sparkling, need I say more.

Last winter the two stores where I buy it stopped carrying it and couldn't special order it for me.

So what did I do? I Googled searched it and found it was available but only to large janitorial supply customers. So I forgot about it for a while, but like a pesky itch, I knew that I would eventually scratch it again.

This week I could resist no longer. Again I Googled it. This time I found it from an online retailer but the shipping costs were more than the product. I have an aversion to that, so I bailed. I decided that I was delaying the inevitable, I surrendered.

But didn't completely give up. I found a website that told me that the main ingredient in Cinch was (Isopropanol a.k.a alcohol) and they listed a glass cleaner with Isopropanol in it.

With the surrender to my obsession with Cinch behind me, the hunt was on for the new similar formula product. Some might say this was a replaced obsession, and they could be right. After searching in five different stores, I began to doubt this product’s existence. I decide to check one more store before surrendering completely.

I scan the shelves, no sighting of the new product, damn. I turn to leave and the heavens open and choirs of angels sing and out of the corner of my eye glowing on the bottom shelf I SEE CINCH! I am so excited you would think I’d won the lottery. This orange trophy is more valuable to me than an Academy Award. I buy all the bottles I can carry (four).

I need to practice this surrender thing. My Cinch quest lasted six months, that’s a long time to devote to a glass cleaner, but in my defense it isn’t just ANY glass cleaner.

Left, Right, Left, Right

It has been far too long since my pen touched paper or more appropriately my fingers touched the keyboard and I shared my thoughts.

What a whirlwind! Our February trip to Panama City Beach turned into mission to buy a second home. We closed escrow Thursday on a fabulous place by the sea (okay the Gulf). We are so excited to own a place where we can be close to Matt, Sarah, and baby-to-be and have beautiful weather and breathtaking views.

Life DOES come down to the details. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. Our mission became to find our dream place in time to use a loan product set to expire the following week. All that was left after that was to navigate our way through the entire process. That's all!

People think that to achieve something you have to know how to do it before you start. Although some knowledge is helpful, most times we learn how to do things by simply doing them. Every day we put one foot in front of the other and tackle the details until all the steps are taken and the job is complete and voila, SUCCESS!

My New Year’s Resolution for 2009 is

To stop over-achieving. It’s showing up in everything I do from writing an email to making food for parties. For some crazy reason, I seem to always “go the extra mile” and then one more for good measure. At times this can be good, but as an overall strategy for living, bad.

Sometimes, it is “the thought that counts.” I don’t have to type perfect emails or say perfect things or make the most creative dishes for EVERY party. Parties are about people not about perfect dishes and life is about connecting not about perfect wishes.

So, in 2009, I will “stop and smell the roses,” remember to enjoy being a gracious guest, and let other people lead me sometimes. I will replace my need to get everything right with an acceptance that I am all right, just the way I am. Ahhhh, that sounds really good to me right now.

You could say posting this on my blog before noon on New Year’s Day sparks of over-achieving, and I might have to agree with you. But hey, it’s day one and I’m going to cut myself a little slack. See it’s working already!

Reflection

Even before I had left Sacramento, I felt myself expanding, and my adventure was just beginning.

I preselected classes, choosing from some old favorites like Gary Zukav and Byron Katie and some presenters new to me like Michael Losier - The Law of Attraction and Toe Reading by K.C. Miller.

The speakers were as varied as the seekers. Class topics included inspiration, gratitude, change, the science of miracles, self-care, the Law of Attraction, stress to strength, shaman healing, brain theory, the Moses Code, positive energy, healing arts, channeling, and talking to the dead.

As I browsed the vendor booths, I was immediately struck by the diversity of interests. To get a jump on one of my planned classes for the next day I got in line for a toe reading. The woman in line behind me read fingerprints, so while we waited she told me what my fingertips revealed. When it was my turn, Laurie, my toe reader was energetic and embraced my feet. Apparently, I have queen and princess qualities (go figure). The only negative was that my pinkies are facing outward which means that I am focused on the future.

The keynote speakers were amazing. Maryanne Williamson was excited about the election as were most presenters. They feel Obama’s election signals a positive shift in the consciousness of the world. Wayne Dyer was inspiring, so entertaining, so human. I was reminded of what originally attracted me to his work back in the 80’s. James Van Praagh was funny, entertaining, and passed on very specific messages from the dead.

I got my own message of sorts, not from the keynote but from a woman a sitting at the end of the row in front of me. She passed me a card that read “You have a big guy fairly bald with you – laughing.” That is a perfect description of my father who has passed, and my mother always says he is probably up there laughing at us.

I found myself engaged, focused, writing, and contemplating ideas the entire weekend. It was a joyous time then and a wonderful treasured memory now.

Off to See the Wizard

I've discovered that the road to insight is a long lifetime journey. Sometimes significant discoveries appear around almost every corner, other times they seem miles, days, even years apart.

One thing I know for sure is that I don’t get to control the timing, instead it is a beautiful dance where I must trust, be lead, and follow.

I’m taking a “road trip” to insight this weekend at the Celebrate Your Life conference in Phoenix sponsored by Oprah & Friends.

Some of the greatest minds in spiritual pursuit and inspirational teaching will be gathered there. Alumni like Wayne Dyer, one of my favorite original self-help gurus dating back to the eighties (remember the 80’s) will be there. Mary Ann Williamson, James Van Praagh and so many other recognizable names in the industry, like Gary Zukav, Michael Losier (contribritor to The Secret), Byron Katie (author of Loving What Is), Cherly Richardson, John Holland, Dr. Jo Dipenza, John Holland and the list goes on and on.

I’ll report back next week on how the dance went.

Instrumental

A friend said to me “when you returned from FL last winter you had a clarity about yourself and your writing” (or something to that effect). I say “something to the effect” because we ALL hear and remember things through our own filters and I have carried this thought around with me for some time considering it.

I was trying to understand and reconcile why I didn’t always operate from that space of clarity gained through discovering “stillness” in Florida.

I rationalized that everyday life calls for all kinds of energy and intensity to achieve goals. But that didn’t quite fit for me. Today, I found my answer. People often describe life by saying you "take two steps forward one step backward." I describe life as as a circle of three steps, "learn, practice, rest." The steps are not always linear, and all three are equally important.

You don’t pick up a violin and play beautiful music immediately, you learn, you practice and then eventually most times when you pick up the instrument you hear a beautiful song.

I AM MY INSTRUMENT. I am learning, practicing, or resting all the time. The more practiced I become, the more beautiful my spirit song, and the closer I get to rediscovering that place of stillness and clarity deep inside me.

A Recipe For Success

Focus on what you know not what you don’t know, what you have, not what you need, and what’s working in your life instead of what isn’t.

I’ve always had trouble giving myself credit for things. My family will laugh because I was the overly confident child with the dramatic showy exterior. I was the “look what I can do” kid, but inside I was a marshmallow. Okay, more like a stale marshmallow with many tough layers, but I had a soft, squishy center.

I work every day to be the best version of myself that I can be. I read, talk, think, challenge, live, explore. I know that I am strong, confident, content, and happy but sometimes still a little voice challenges my convictions whispering doubts in my ear.

But when I focus on all that I know, all that I have, and how wonderful my life is, the whispers exert no power over me and trail off in the wind as quickly as they come. With a deep breath, my center rises up to meet me, cocooning me, hugging and protecting my innermost squishy part, telling me all is well, and that YES I can depend on me.

Path Blockers

I pay way too much attention to what I don’t know about something and don’t give myself enough credit for what I do know.

This part of what is getting in the way of my completing my website. I’m allowing the few things that I don’t know to get in the way of all that I know. Huh, I think this applies to more than just creating my website, but let’s slay one dragon at a time.

Remember in an earlier post when I said you can learn anything if you are willing to spend whatever amount of time it takes to personally learn it? I am at that crossroads asking myself “Is the time I’m spending to learn to create a website worth it to me?”

Like so many things, the answer is yes and no. I get a strong sense of confidence, satisfaction, and pride doing it for myself, but it is taking a lot of time, an inspired thought might be to get a little professional help with the final details. It wouldn't be the first time someone suggested that I get a little professional help:)

I like inspired thoughts!

Adding New Members

We've adopted...... five houseplants. Wow, huh? It’s an amazing experience being parents again. Five years ago when we moved to California, we said goodbye to all our houseplants back in Ohio. Our outdoor space here blooms so constantly that we barely missed our left behind plants until now.

We are finally ready to commit, take on a new challenge, be responsible for something other than ourselves again. Our new babies are so darling. Of course, we are trying to provide all the right things for them, just enough water, light, and love…but not too much. This parenting thing is like walking a tightrope isn’t it?

So far, so good, they have lived for about 10 days. We are hopeful that with all the love and attention we are giving them they will prosper, but haven’t we all said that before. I’m just going to enjoy their beauty, watch them grow, and appreciate their gifts.

I am finally planted here, too. Both feet are in California, and I expect I'll grow some, too.