Game On

The only thing better than setting a deadline to give youself that much needed kick in the “ars” to get things done is to announce your intention to the world.

It got me back on my blog! I’ve been offline most of January working on myself, looking within, clarifying, and stepping up my game.

I studied marketing myself, living my vision, and radiating my passion. I used the power of daily daydreaming to see the limitless possibilities of my life. I’ve had lots of fun settling into retirement with my husband, but now I’m back and I’m “badder” than ever (the good bad).

I’m stepping into my own power. No more Caren-lite. No more hiding, full-throttle Caren dead ahead. It’s kind of scary for me as well as others. But rest-assured, I only use my power for GOOD.

I’m living authentically, expanding my horizons, and working on attracting my tribe, the people who get me, the people who I can share learning with and also learn from. That is an integral part of who I am. I hope you’ll join me on this journey.

I’ve updated my website and finally I’m able to communicate my passion for the process of FOCUS PHRASE™. I hope you’ll stop by and take a look http://carenalbersinspirations.com/. Your comments and feedback would be a great help to me.

Sometimes we know something so well that it is difficult to communicate it to others. This is not difficult to communicate, IT’S GREAT TO BE BACK!

♥Caren4u

Small Changes in Thinking CAN Make Big Changes in YOU

The Four Day Win (oops I added an “e”and typed wine the first time) is a behavior modification strategy shared with me by Martha Beck Master Life Coach Susan Hyatt shyatt.com.  It nurtures goal setting and I can sure use some help with that?

The process involves setting a four day goal and turning it into a success, a win. You start by choosing a small daily goal that you will commit to doing for four day.  A feasible goal makes a huge difference in succeeding.  So, make your goal, then cut it in half to make it ridiculously easy to achieve. I cut my original goal to write one hour every morning during my genius hours when I'm most creative, productive, and connected down to thirty minutes.

Step two involves giving yourself a small reward every day you achieve your goal.  I put together a basket of small gifts,  material rewards (pens, post-it, nail polish etc.), and post-it notes with nonmaterial rewards like reading for 1/2 hour from a yummy book or watching Oprah. I gotta say the reward part challenges me. But that’s the applause, the pat on the back, the “atta girl” we all crave.

On the fourth day of achieving your goal give yourself a BIGGER reward because you accomplished your Four Day Win. It doesn’t need to be expensive like an e-reader or an ipad (although I’m trying to manifest one) it can be a latte or trip to the park or something else that you like.

Three small rewards followed by a larger one allows you to experience life in small wins.  It breaks goals up into managable bites and creates a natural pause to relax in and enjoy your successes.  Then if you want, you can set another Four Day Win! 

It also provides a psychological boost.  Say I go to a yoga class one time, “I’m trying yoga.” But if I go to yoga four times “I DO Yoga.” See the shift, BE the shift!

LIVE YOUR DREAM

Blog Writing 101

The IDEA, EXECUTION, and PUBLISH POST button are three important elements to consider when writing a blog post. Each can terrify a beginner. But trust me you can do this.

IDEA - write about something you believe in that excites you. Something you are experiencing right now or something that you can’t get out of your mind translate well into blog posts that engage readers.

EXECUTION – short and simple is best. A three paragraph writing style similar to one I use in my Focus Phrase Process is a great structure for new bloggers to loosely follow. I say "loosely" because you may notice that this post does not conform to that style.☺ Also, remember to edit, edit, edit. Ask yourself “is this word, thought, or sentence necessary to tell the story?” If not, no matter how brilliant, lose it.

PUBLISH POST - clicking the publish post button used to paralyze me, but practice does make easier (remember there is no perfect). So NIKE (just do it!) You can always change, edit, or if you totally freak out delete it altogether. Nothing is carved in stone here, RELAX, hit PUBLISH POST and see what happens.

My guess is you will find many who appreciate your message and identify with you. Martha Beck calls them “your people.” Don’t let fear keep you on the sidelines another minute. Put yourself out there, BLOG, find “your people” and start building a tribe.

I’m hitting PUBLISH POST now!☺

LIVE YOUR DREAM

“A JOURNEY OF WORDS"- Discover the wisdom of your own words.

Are you ready to take the next BIG step toward living your dream?

Want to understand yourself better and find more meaning and direction in your life? We create our WORLD with our WORDS. Our thoughts become things. When we tell ourselves we can, we can and when we tell ourselves we can’t, well you know how that usually goes.

The words we use every day get strung together and become the fabric of the stories of our lives. Want your life’s journey to be a beautiful tapestry worthy of you? Join me, Caren4u in an online writing experience focusing on the wisdom of your own words.

Mary Anne Radmacher’s thought-provoking, inspiring words (Radmacher Focus Phrases™) begin a conversation that leads to exploration and discovery. Even if you don’t feel like an accomplished writer this class is for you. It's about so much more than writing. Write to inspire your inner strength. Write to develop a habit of using your own words to keep you focused and aimed in the direction of your dreams.

Focus Phrase writing is a small investment with huge returns. While it is about writing it is more about what you discover as you explore and write. The insight gained doesn’t end when the class ends, it lasts a lifetime.

This is a guided writing process conducted online. I offer feedback unique and specific to your writing and discovery. Encouragement and support, no extra charge, that’s just how I roll!

A JOURNEY OF WORDS begins on June 7th and concludes June 25th. $129 covers three consecutive weeks of writing Monday – Friday. Ready to enroll? Reply to caren4u@comcast.net and I will get you registered and paid.

Want a shorter class, I offer A JOG OF WORDS. $40 covers a one week preview that introduces you to the Focus Phrase writing process. At the end of the week, you can decide to continue on with me or enjoy having participated in the shorter class experience.

Here’s what some of my participants have to share about the process:

“This turned out to be a wonderful opportunity to prod my inner wisdom and to actually allow myself to creatively explore beyond the obvious. I found this to be freeing and exciting.” Anne M.

“I imagined this course would get me thinking about life choices big and small, and help me focus on my needs, but I didn't know that some choices would become very important and very clear. I've been able to set my priorities and complete some challenges that have enriched my life in marvelous and unexpected ways.” Michelle A.

Live Your Dream - http://carenalbersinspirations.com

Turn a Rut into a Groove

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the dimensions (Ellen Glasgow). You can get out of a rut but you can’t get out of a grave that is for sure. But changing a rut into a groove, now that’s a whole other animal.

Last year my husband and I were trying to decide whether to ship one of our cars to Florida where our son and his family live. On our longer visits rentals were very expensive but we we didn't want to increase our carbon footprint by buying a third car to keep down there (tree-hugger I know).

We weighed the pros and cons. Half the time my car sat in the garage and the other half I knew could plan more efficiently. Plus, I have a bike and legs that I have been meaning to use more.

This idea met with skepticism from our well-meaning friends and family who couldn’t imagine EVER being without a car. But it has worked out wonderfully and has even brought us closer together. In the year that we've been car sharing only a couple of conflicts occurred that were easily remedied.

Changing this rut into a groove brought unexpected benefits. When I want the car during the day, I chauffeur my husband the short three miles to work. My friend is encouraging me to get a cap!

In the car, we are present with each other and connect in a way that we hadn’t been after 30 years of marriage. We now plan our weeks together and engage more in each other’s days. One our short commute, we talk about our work, our days, our dreams and encourage and support each other.

The car thing may not work for everyone, but I encourage you to pick something that you’ve always done a certain way and turn it upside down. Play with changing some aspect of your life and I’ll bet you will find hidden benefits, too.

My new groove has me walking more and has brought us closer together and renewed our connection. It taught me that “LESS can be the new MORE!”

Falling in Love with Yourself is FOREVER

Spend this Valentine’s Day falling in love with YOU. Our relationships with other people can only be as highly evolved as our relationship with ourselves. It’s like a bank account you’ve got to put love in to be able to take love out. So if you find yourself unattached this Valentine Day or even if you are attached consider taking Self-Love 101 at “YOU University” where YOU are the student and the teacher.


SELF-LOVE 101 - Ten surfire ways to master self-love.

1. Acknowledge Yourself - You’re perfect just the way you are right now – not ten pounds from now, not a new job from now, not a different anything from now. Explore, accept, and love the gift that you are just by being you.
   
2. Cast Off Old Tapes – You know the ones. The ones you’ve been hearing since childhood about who you are. Don’t let other people’s opinions define you. Train your mind and spirit to go beyond other people’s limitations.
   
3. Affirmations Work – Find one that encourages acceptance and self-love. Affirmations are like planting seeds. They don’t look like much in the beginning, but if you tend to them they soon grow and blossom. “I love and approve of myself just as I am” is a great one by Louise Hay.
   
4. Send Outdated Beliefs Packing - Your outward experience always reflects your beliefs about yourself. If you want to change the outside; you’ve got to start on the inside.
   
5. L.I.G. Let-It-Go – Forgive yourself for ALL your past transgressions. Like Dr. Phil says “If we knew better, we’d do better.” Wipe your slate clean. Nobody’s perfect. Compassion and forgiveness begins and ends with you.
   
6. Observes Don’t Judge – Judging and criticizing other people also means that we judge and criticize ourselves. That alone is a good reason to give it up. It’s wonderful when you don’t feel the need to label a thing as “good or bad, right or wrong.” When you observe, it just “is.”
   
7. Embrace Change – This version of yourself is not permanent and neither was the one you grew up with. You can change your thoughts about who you are and change who you are.
   
8. Learn & Grow – Look for opportunities to try new things. It makes you and life more interesting. If you’ve always loved a thing but have never tried it, what are you waiting for?
   
9. Breathe – It makes everything better. Relax and take a deep breath. On the inhale say to yourself “I am” and on the exhale say “loving.”
   
10. Practice, Practice, Practice – We think we learn something and then it’s over, “BAM” we know it. But we learn by doing, by repeating a thing, sometimes over and over and over and over.

Applaud your learning and give yourself an "A" just for taking the course. Loving yourself, respecting and appreciating you is the most powerful thing a person can do. When we fall in love with other people they can leave us, but when we fall in love with ourselves, IT'S FOREVER!

The Pearl

When did “present moment living” take up residence? I’m not certain. During the past two years it’s dropped in and visited. Unexpectedly at first, but a welcome surprise of unparalleled experience. It’s like the infatuation stage of love. Everything looks different, smells different, tastes different, colors shine brighter, meaning becomes obvious, street signs look foreign and new, the world opens before your eyes in a way it has never done before. Did I mention the peacefulness? Oh it is truly blissful I’ll even say “to die for.” Turns out you don’t have to.

I want it to stay forever when it comes, but like a rootless drifter it arrives and leaves on its own schedule. Eventually, I do start sensing its pending arrival. I notice the signs and start inviting it with my best “come hither” and am blessed with remarkable experiences of vividly amazing days that eventually grow into weeks. But still it continues to slip away in the night without so much as a post-it note. But now my unpredictable houseguest/friend has officially moved in and I couldn’t be happier, seriously, no seriously! Its presence is glaringly obvious this holiday season.

I no longer argue with the reality of “what is.” Bob had surgery. I’m not a hero or superhuman. Yes, I am brave and happy for that. But I don’t have to attach a story to it, I simply experience it, lived it, and it’s manageable. Just like not going home for Christmas. Several times, I have been tempted to attach a story to it like that “for fifty-seven years I've spent the holidays with my family” making it BIG. But when I'm present and experience it without a story, it’s not big or sad. It’s actually very peaceful. Like the oyster, I have rubbed up against enough sand that a metamorphosis has occurred and something beautiful has been created inside of me. I always thought acceptance involved the surrendering of your power. It turns out that it involves the surrendering of your stories and the acceptance of your power. “Who knew?

Renaissance

I rarely see the first light of day. I’m not against it, but my natural circadian rhythm wakes me at seven thirty when the sun has made her debut and is already ascending in the morning sky. On those rare days when I do occasion a glimpse of her first rise, I know I have witnessed something truly spectacular, a birth, a new beginning.

I am seeing my own sunrise right now. On the horizon her beauty greets me more brightly each day. She emerges wondrous and whole, a perfect arc arching forward. Her appearance not coincidental, designed, desired, and now required by me. Her presence arrives as beautifully as a bird’s melodic call filling my ears with joyful songs.

It is my calling, my soul’s reach. A hand offered a hand taken, pulling me out of my past into the present where all power lives to create my future. I have answered the call and I smile now, not for the world to see, but for me.

Surrender Is Not a Cinch

A part of what I am learning and writing about is surrende. Not surrender as in defeat, surrender as in acceptance of “what is.” Living without the expectation that things should be different than they are.

Some say that when you stop needing something you get it. That seems to cynical to me. I think that when you release your attachment to needing something, you may still want it, it often manifests.

Here’s an example. You’ll laugh when you realize that this is about Cinch glass cleaner. I have love, love, love this cleaner. The smell is so clean and it doesn’t streak and leaves countertops sparkling, need I say more.

Last winter the two stores where I buy it stopped carrying it and couldn't special order it for me.

So what did I do? I Googled searched it and found it was available but only to large janitorial supply customers. So I forgot about it for a while, but like a pesky itch, I knew that I would eventually scratch it again.

This week I could resist no longer. Again I Googled it. This time I found it from an online retailer but the shipping costs were more than the product. I have an aversion to that, so I bailed. I decided that I was delaying the inevitable, I surrendered.

But didn't completely give up. I found a website that told me that the main ingredient in Cinch was (Isopropanol a.k.a alcohol) and they listed a glass cleaner with Isopropanol in it.

With the surrender to my obsession with Cinch behind me, the hunt was on for the new similar formula product. Some might say this was a replaced obsession, and they could be right. After searching in five different stores, I began to doubt this product’s existence. I decide to check one more store before surrendering completely.

I scan the shelves, no sighting of the new product, damn. I turn to leave and the heavens open and choirs of angels sing and out of the corner of my eye glowing on the bottom shelf I SEE CINCH! I am so excited you would think I’d won the lottery. This orange trophy is more valuable to me than an Academy Award. I buy all the bottles I can carry (four).

I need to practice this surrender thing. My Cinch quest lasted six months, that’s a long time to devote to a glass cleaner, but in my defense it isn’t just ANY glass cleaner.

The Hokey Pokey

I’m doing the hokey pokey. I stick my right foot in and take my right foot out, but I never get to the part where I put my whole self in.

“That’s sad” I say to myself. Then I add “MOST people don’t even put a foot in,” to which I counter “you are NOT most people.” Huh, this argument sounds familiar.

It’s in there, I know it is, I discovered it a while ago. What do I get from holding it back, security? What will I gain from being fearless and unleashing it? I will be ALL in…no more hokey pokey.

Instrumental

A friend said to me “when you returned from FL last winter you had a clarity about yourself and your writing” (or something to that effect). I say “something to the effect” because we ALL hear and remember things through our own filters and I have carried this thought around with me for some time considering it.

I was trying to understand and reconcile why I didn’t always operate from that space of clarity gained through discovering “stillness” in Florida.

I rationalized that everyday life calls for all kinds of energy and intensity to achieve goals. But that didn’t quite fit for me. Today, I found my answer. People often describe life by saying you "take two steps forward one step backward." I describe life as as a circle of three steps, "learn, practice, rest." The steps are not always linear, and all three are equally important.

You don’t pick up a violin and play beautiful music immediately, you learn, you practice and then eventually most times when you pick up the instrument you hear a beautiful song.

I AM MY INSTRUMENT. I am learning, practicing, or resting all the time. The more practiced I become, the more beautiful my spirit song, and the closer I get to rediscovering that place of stillness and clarity deep inside me.

Use the Force!

The universe spoke to me and here’s the funny part, I listened. I was trying to figure out why I wasn’t finishing my photo affirmation business website. So, I got really quiet, did some deep breathing, and ask my spirit guide, to guide me. I wasn’t sure I had one, but I knew I wanted one.

I closed my eyes, breathed deeply, listened quietly, and new thoughts floated effortlessly into my mind “You’re not ready yet, when you are ready, it will flow out of you” they said. I hadn’t considered myself “not ready” but it could be. Then the voice in my head said something I didn’t understand. “There is no time.”

I racked my brain turning the phrase over and over again. “No time,” what could that mean? After several confusing moments another thought slid into my consciousness, add the word table to time. I was still confused, but did as I was told. “There is no timetable.”

Aha, I had my answer. When the time was right I would complete my website with ease. I liked the sound of that. So I relaxed and gave myself permission to let the time choose itself. It really was that easy. I believe in the Buddhist proverb "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear."

What happened next was truly amazing. I became motivated beyond belief to work past my final challenges and completed the website in just two weeks, and YES it did “flow” out of me.

In life, as in so many things, a small shift can move a mountain. I was trying to figure out why I wasn’t completing the website, not realizing that the law of attraction was working here. The more I asked why I wasn’t finishing, the more attention and energy I was attracting to NOT finishing.

When I released, trusted and surrendered, I achieved my goal (snaps to me for being able to do that!). I'm happy to announce that the website is up and running, YEAH! Take a look and give me some feedback affirmations4u.com. Smiles, Caren

Mucking Around

To be really good at something you have to be willing to be bad at it for a while….we learn by mucking around.

I can study and attempt to assimilate new information, but the truth is I learn by banging on things. By touching, feeling, experiencing, sometimes screwing up, and then most times FINALLY getting it.

In my younger days, my fear of doing anything that wasn’t “perfect” severely limited me. But now, although I still find learning frustrating at times, I persevere and the personal rewards are phenomenal.

I’ve learned that the more frustrated I am the closer I am to a breakthrough and that a certain amount of re-learning is normal, even though I hate it. In my case, the amount of re-learning is fairly substantial, but I accept that.

So lighten up everyone, enjoy the mucking and the next time you are frustrated beyond belief, instead of taking it out on others or even worse yourself, repeat with confidence these words “I must be on the edge of a breakthrough.” If your situation calls for more colorful language, consider adding the word “mucking” before “breakthrough.” That should do it.

An Okay Addiction

I don’t do CRAZY. I have a low tolerance for that nasty, sick feeling I get in the pit in my stomach from it. Mostly, I manage to keep my distance, but part of my extended family is, well, addicted to drama….so sometimes it creeps in.

After reading A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, I have a better understanding of what causes drama filled lives. Eckhart talks about the “pain body” made up of a person’s unresolved hurts and accumulated emotional pain that is carried around with them effecting their thoughts and actions throughout their life (and not for the good I might add).

They choose to surround themselves with people who feed their “pain bodies” thus continuing the negative cycle and creating more DRAMA! It looks crazy to the outside world, why would anyone over and over again choose something that causes so much pain and chaos. But for those operating with an active “pain body” it’s all they know and it reinforces their beliefs about themselves and the world.

Breaking the cycle is not easy. It takes an awareness, desire, and commitment to learning how to lead a more inspired life. I’ve spent years on my own personal journey, read books that taught me new ways of seeing the world, and experienced the joy that comes from truly knowing yourself, rewarded with a peaceful, contented heart.

My life changed dramatically (pun intended). You could say I’m addicted to feeling good and self-love and I would say “I think that’s an okay addiction!”

Feeling Good

This week Oprah had program featuring Louise Hay. I have been a fan of hers for years. Some of you may remember the year I gave everyone in my family her book Meditations to Heal Your Life for Christmas. I think I handed out fifteen copies.

I imagine many got a chuckle after receiving my gift, that crazy Caren. But I have been a strong believer in the power of affirmations and positive thinking for most of my adult life and wanted to share something that had the power to change your thinking.

I was not always a positive thinker. I worked hard to achieve it. It was a two steps forward one step backward journey, but eventually I got there.

Louise Hay has a movie You Can Heal Your Life. I have not seen it yet, but plan to order it from Amazon.com ($15.96). It features Wayne Dyer, too and if you read my earlier post, reading his books was very influential in my thinking and my life.

On Oprah, Louise Hay talked about how our primary intention in life is to feel good. She suggested that our food and our thoughts are two components that we can control to contribute to feeling good in life. I am all about feeling good.

So, if I send those I love a movie or another book, don’t feel I think that “YOU” need it, I think we can ALL benefit from it, myself included. I still own my copy of Meditations to Heal Your Life.

Personal transformations can begin with something as small as reading this post or Louise Hay or Wayne Dyer and can end with a more powerful, positive, YOU!

Expect Great Things

Managing expectation….is it possible….is it necessary? So many times things don’t lived up to our imagined ideal leaving us feeling disappointed.

People say it is our expectations that get us into trouble. I think focusing too much attention on what doesn’t meet our expectations and not adequately celebrating what does is what negatively affects us.

This may sound lame, but last week I made this awesome shredded beef burrito. When I bit into it, I was rewarded with explosions of flavor that far exceeded my expectations. I consciously considered celebrating that wonderful moment, but going gonzo over a burrito, well seemed silly.
But it was more than the burrito, on some level I knew that. It was the joyful occurrence of something being what I expected or better.

So often we get fixated on what doesn’t meet our expectations (my eyeglass incident) or a million other things and we forget to get equally excited about what does rock our world.

The next time something turns out good, meeting or exceeding your expectations, no matter how insignificant, shout praises from the rooftops….okay maybe just do a little happy dance. But celebrate its occurrence and recognize its contribution to your well-being. Shower it with at least as much energy (more if you can) as the nagging missed expectations you obsess on like a dog protecting a bone.

Who knows, by fousing our attention on the good, we may find even more things in our lives to celebrate.

Maybe Someday

I’ll have a terracotta tile floor” I say as I watch the kitchen makeover on HGTV. I admit I thrive on a fair amount of change and blossom when made over.

Let's start with my hair, constantly changing. It grows like a weed and experiences color changes as rapid as a chameleon except unlike a chameleon it stands out from its environment instead of blending in. My stylists love my boldness. For me it’s just hair, a renewable resource, why not try crazy. Sure I've gone too far a time or two. But if you never go too far, you'll never know what you're capable of. Are we still talking about hair?

Never been much of a blender myself. The only time I move with the herd is if it's going at a break neck speed with its hair on fire. Otherwise, I separate from the crowd and fly solo, gliding on the warm air currents in and out of the clouds, blazing my own path, at my own speed. Sometimes I do brave things that seem crazy like fly straight up in the air as far as I can, then flying full speed toward the ground pulling up at just the right moment to avoid disaster. Okay, I don’t actually do that, but I have seen humming birds do it, some kind of mating ritual or maybe their sugar water has fermented. But I do something that feels very similar.

I dive in head first, eyes wide open, multi-colored locks flowing in the breeze my splash creates. I talk about what excites me, what I care about. I don’t wait to have all the answers to share my enthusiasm. I take risks right out in the open. I fly straight up in the air for all to see and sometimes for good measure I fly full speed toward the ground drawing frightened stares from worried onlookers. At the last moment, I pull up and experiencing an incredible “roller coaster feeling" in my gut that reminds me I can soar.