Turn a Rut into a Groove

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the dimensions (Ellen Glasgow). You can get out of a rut but you can’t get out of a grave that is for sure. But changing a rut into a groove, now that’s a whole other animal.

Last year my husband and I were trying to decide whether to ship one of our cars to Florida where our son and his family live. On our longer visits rentals were very expensive but we we didn't want to increase our carbon footprint by buying a third car to keep down there (tree-hugger I know).

We weighed the pros and cons. Half the time my car sat in the garage and the other half I knew could plan more efficiently. Plus, I have a bike and legs that I have been meaning to use more.

This idea met with skepticism from our well-meaning friends and family who couldn’t imagine EVER being without a car. But it has worked out wonderfully and has even brought us closer together. In the year that we've been car sharing only a couple of conflicts occurred that were easily remedied.

Changing this rut into a groove brought unexpected benefits. When I want the car during the day, I chauffeur my husband the short three miles to work. My friend is encouraging me to get a cap!

In the car, we are present with each other and connect in a way that we hadn’t been after 30 years of marriage. We now plan our weeks together and engage more in each other’s days. One our short commute, we talk about our work, our days, our dreams and encourage and support each other.

The car thing may not work for everyone, but I encourage you to pick something that you’ve always done a certain way and turn it upside down. Play with changing some aspect of your life and I’ll bet you will find hidden benefits, too.

My new groove has me walking more and has brought us closer together and renewed our connection. It taught me that “LESS can be the new MORE!”

Faith and Hope

The wind blows softly, gently at my back as I ready to pull anchor and hoist my sail, next stop New Orleans. Today, the winding down begins, the remembering of what to take, the necessities and luxuries to make our next stop MOST enjoyable. Risking sacrilege, I’ll call next week a holy week, two birthdays and one wedding anniversary in the span of five days. Glory be!

Soon, we'll be on the road again navigating a charmed life, a good life for which I am appreciative and grateful beyond measure. My roadmap to inner peace had some twists and turns, surprises and incomplete data, but I didn’t let that deter me. Faith pointed the way and I followed. Life doesn’t come with an instruction manual or a guarantee. We have to show up and do our part and keep doing it.

Experiencing a good life is like adjusting the knob on a toaster. No matter how careful we are sometimes it comes out too dark and sometimes too light, but we don’t stop eating toast. We keep tweaking the dial in the hope that THIS will be the time it turns out a perfectly golden brown color swimming in butter. That's what keeps us going.

Perfecting Imperfection

I’m tripping today. I can’t locate my enthusiasm, my mental energy must have taken a personal day, and my spunkiness apparently left early on its own spring break. I’m sick and tired of being accountable. “Calgon take me away.”

Sometimes it needs to “good enough” end of story. No excelling at every turn, no accolades for being the best at anything, those extract a heavy price that I am no longer willing to pay. No pedestals from which to topple from.

I can achieve my highest good, which is the best there is in my world, only when I can HONESTLY say to some things “that’s good enuff!”

Spring Break Writing Boot Camp - April 12 - 23

Take an inward journey this Spring Break guided by Caren4u.

Drop and give me ten. Ten days devoted to U! Ten days writing together, listening to your heart, writing what it tells you, and discovering your dreams.

It’s a quick-start, jumpstart, online process using Radmacher Focus Phrase™ writing. Our dreams are heart wishes that too often go unheard in the noise of our daily lives. Spring Break Writing Boot Camp is a chance to focus inward and discover the answers waiting inside of you.

The kids get a Spring Break, why shouldn’t you?

Email me your interest at caren4u@comcast.net and we’ll get you registered for Spring Break on my virtual beach.

NO SUNSCREEN REQUIRED! Class fee $70 carenalbersinspirations.com

Clue Train, Toot Toot

My life is like a crossword puzzle. Some answers fill in quickly others take time to figure out. One across, or over as my mom likes to call it, “what you were born to do?” Easy one, “write.” One down, three letters beginning with “w” “one of you best qualities,” again easy, “wit.”

I sometimes carry a crossword puzzle around for weeks picking it up from time to time, solving it bit by bit, finding even one answer that before eluded me a celebrated victory.

I solve the puzzle of my life in much the same way. Some answers fill easily as other clues are being solved. Others require more time. When only a few obscure clues remain in my crossword puzzle, I reach out to Google. Some call this cheating, I call it research, help in finding my answers.

Google isn't magic, the answers don’t appear just because I type in the clue. What fun would that be? Most times I need to turn a clue upside down, or think of it another way and with a little luck eventually I'll find my answer.

Right now, I’m looking for a plum variety four letters beginning with “GA_ _.” Google, oh Google, where are you? In the crossword of my life, the clue I’m trying to solve is seven letters “having it all.” Could it be “success” “balance” “victory” or something yet to be discovered? I don't think Google can help me with this one.

Cloudy With a Chance of Coughing

I just returned from Urgent Care with a diagnosis of Bronchitis moving into Pneumonia. Two breathing treatments, one cortisone shot, one antibiotic, one prescription cough medication, and an inhaler later, I’m hoping to feel REAL GOOD soon!

Five Signs Caren is REALLY, REALLY Sick!

1. Personal grooming slides – Hair unwashed for six days smashed and matted to the back of my head in a circular pattern most commonly seen in nursing home patients (apologizes to nursing home patients).

2. Nightly crying jags – Things are so dismal after 10 pm. I know I’m not right but I can’t figure out how to make me right. So I cry. It actually makes me feel better.

3. Loss of appetite – Can be seen as a blessing or a curse. But the kicker is that nothing tastes right. That might not have stopped me in the past, but it now gives me pause. I’m simply not hungry, must be the meds.

4. Canceling social engagements – I had to un-invite ten people due to come to my house today for beach house brunch. BUMMER!!!! I not only will miss seeing everyone, I will be eating eggs every day until I return to California.

5. Loss of spunkiness – Not calling people on their crap. It just takes way to much energy.

But there was a glimmer of hope today, after my shot and second breathing treatment Bob was spouting some “wisdom” about decongestants and I said “you don’t know that” to which he replied “Somebody's feeling better.” Touche!

Falling in Love with Yourself is FOREVER

Spend this Valentine’s Day falling in love with YOU. Our relationships with other people can only be as highly evolved as our relationship with ourselves. It’s like a bank account you’ve got to put love in to be able to take love out. So if you find yourself unattached this Valentine Day or even if you are attached consider taking Self-Love 101 at “YOU University” where YOU are the student and the teacher.


SELF-LOVE 101 - Ten surfire ways to master self-love.

1. Acknowledge Yourself - You’re perfect just the way you are right now – not ten pounds from now, not a new job from now, not a different anything from now. Explore, accept, and love the gift that you are just by being you.
   
2. Cast Off Old Tapes – You know the ones. The ones you’ve been hearing since childhood about who you are. Don’t let other people’s opinions define you. Train your mind and spirit to go beyond other people’s limitations.
   
3. Affirmations Work – Find one that encourages acceptance and self-love. Affirmations are like planting seeds. They don’t look like much in the beginning, but if you tend to them they soon grow and blossom. “I love and approve of myself just as I am” is a great one by Louise Hay.
   
4. Send Outdated Beliefs Packing - Your outward experience always reflects your beliefs about yourself. If you want to change the outside; you’ve got to start on the inside.
   
5. L.I.G. Let-It-Go – Forgive yourself for ALL your past transgressions. Like Dr. Phil says “If we knew better, we’d do better.” Wipe your slate clean. Nobody’s perfect. Compassion and forgiveness begins and ends with you.
   
6. Observes Don’t Judge – Judging and criticizing other people also means that we judge and criticize ourselves. That alone is a good reason to give it up. It’s wonderful when you don’t feel the need to label a thing as “good or bad, right or wrong.” When you observe, it just “is.”
   
7. Embrace Change – This version of yourself is not permanent and neither was the one you grew up with. You can change your thoughts about who you are and change who you are.
   
8. Learn & Grow – Look for opportunities to try new things. It makes you and life more interesting. If you’ve always loved a thing but have never tried it, what are you waiting for?
   
9. Breathe – It makes everything better. Relax and take a deep breath. On the inhale say to yourself “I am” and on the exhale say “loving.”
   
10. Practice, Practice, Practice – We think we learn something and then it’s over, “BAM” we know it. But we learn by doing, by repeating a thing, sometimes over and over and over and over.

Applaud your learning and give yourself an "A" just for taking the course. Loving yourself, respecting and appreciating you is the most powerful thing a person can do. When we fall in love with other people they can leave us, but when we fall in love with ourselves, IT'S FOREVER!