Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Seeing the Light

I’m a HUGE Martha Beck fan but her article “Dear Me” in the April issue of O Magazine blew even me away!

You know how things other people do can drive you crazy. But when we you look more closely, more honestly you see that the reason it drives you crazy is because you exhibit some of those very same traits.

I’ll leave the fancy jargon to Martha because I still trip over the word “perseverating.” What I will say is that Martha offers an exercise that can provide you with amazing clarity and insight.

The first step is to write a letter (not meant to be sent) to a person you harbor unexpressed negative feelings for. I know this doesn’t sound new, but read on.

Martha encourages getting in touch with your inner judgmental witch with a “B.” At the top of the page write “Dear whoever your person is” and tell them in no uncertain terms what you think about them “in your lowest moments.” Remember, you aren’t sending the letter. So let it rip!

I had fun with it. It felt liberating to get it off my chest. Then I read Martha’s next instruction “cross out the person’s name and insert your own name!” What? YIKES! Ouch! WOWSER!

Now read the letter as if it is written to you. Martha encourages openness and thoughtfulness instead of defensiveness. Um hum.

Surprisingly, the things I thought I was writing to my friend like “you never have time for me but I see you making time for other people. I feel unloved, uncared for and unimportant” turned out to be true about me!

Right now, I find myself not making enough time for the things that matter most to me, to my higher self. With my friend as my mirror, I could see how much pain it’s causing me. BUSTED!!! It's so true that when you point a finger at another person, four fingers point back at you.

Martha’s process has a fourth step and a lot of other brilliant things. To enjoy every wise, wonderful note of Martha’s brilliant insight symphony I encourage you to read her column in April’s O Magazine. It will inspire you to turn things around and see them in a new light!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Too Much REAL in REALITY

The tragedy and devastation in Japan fills me with love, compassion, and concern for my fellow human travelers. It tugs on my heartstrings and clouds my eyes with tears that spring from my deepest reaches.

With life imitating a horrible disaster film, there’s too much REAL in my REALITY. How do we all quell our feelings of uncertainty and deeply abiding sadness?

We’re “can do” people. Give us a plan, something to do and we’ll happily execute. Fill sandbags, no problem, donate to charities offering aid, sure, anything to lessen our feelings of helplessness.

But today I feel paralyzed, my “can do” and my heart broken.

As I surrender to the tears, I see a news clip showing Japanese people gathered in a shelter preparing food together and helping each other. Doing things that feel “normal” they say gives them a sense of comfort.

Things won’t be “normal” in Japan or anywhere else for a long time. But what we "can do" is help each other and find comfort in the simple things of everyday life. We can share a blog, hold virtual hands and for a precious moment or two feel “normal” again.