When we are young, most of us become overly identified with our roles and carry them throughout our lives without ever even questioning them.
“Good with Numbers” becomes an accountant, “Good with People” maybe a social worker, “Good in Science” perhaps a doctor, “Good with Kids” teaches. Early on, we listen to what others say about our abilities and identify more with their assessments than we do with the vast unnamed qualities that make up our personalities.
Unfortunately, role identifications get attached to us at a very young age when we don’t fully know “who we are.” I’m sure you know many adults with varying degrees of dissatisfaction with their jobs or lives and still they cling to their original role identification unable to let go or create a new one for themselves.
I call myself a dream searcher because I dropped my childhood identity and began experimenting with “who I am.” I love trying on “new hats” to see how they fit, because fit is everything. I can be “Good with Whatever” but if it doesn’t fit my life right now, it will not fulfill me. I may stay a dream searcher my entire life, the idea does have appeal to me. It just means I haven’t ruled anything completely out yet.
Not everyone can or would want to do this, but what you can do is carve out a little corner of your life and experiment. Make room for something that has always interested you. You will be amazed at how the ripple effect of joy can overflow into other areas of your life. Before you know it, you are changed. Not because of a grand plan or a sweeping gesture, but because of your willingness to look at your world through the eyes of a child and dream.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
Celebrations
This last week of April is our week of celebrations, my husband’s birthday, our wedding anniversary, and today my birthday.
In search of a memorable, overnight trip to celebrate our 28th wedding anniversary, I discovered the East Brother Light Station http://www.ebls.org/index.php, a restored Victorian Lighthouse Bed and Breakfast Inn perched atop an island in the straits that separate San Francisco and San Pablo Bays. Reading the descriptions, I knew I’d found our adventure.
At 4pm we were to meet at the Point San Pablo Yacht Harbor in Richmond California for a short boat ride to the island. The website cautioned that the road to the harbor was not well maintained. It also stressed that depending on the tides you needed to be able to exit a bobbing boat by climbing a ladder from four to ten feet. The only water source on the island is rain collected in cisterns, so showers could not be provided for guests staying only one night. Already I was excited.
The yacht harbor (I’m using the term loosely) was weathered but proved adequate for our host to dock and load for our ferry to the island. Arriving at the island, our climb up the ladder to shore was only four feet. No problem.
Our evening began with hosts Elan and Katey serving us champagne and hors d’oeuvres outdoors to enjoy the wonderful weather and gorgeous views of the bay and city of San Francisco off in the distance. Only three of the five rooms in the Inn were rented so six of us shared the island for the night. Our conversations, lively and interesting, carried on throughout a delicious multi-course dinner with wines selected to complement and into the unseasonably warm night air.
We stayed in the Marin Room, the view breathtaking. I already miss seeing the stars over the bay with Mount Tamalpias in the background. In the morning, enjoying our gourmet breakfast, all agreed our time there went by WAY to quickly. Leaving at low tide, we did get one last adrenaline rush climbing down the ladder about ten feet to our waiting boat.
So many places we travel remind us of other places we have been. This uniquely, wonderful experience was one we'll always remember!
In search of a memorable, overnight trip to celebrate our 28th wedding anniversary, I discovered the East Brother Light Station http://www.ebls.org/index.php, a restored Victorian Lighthouse Bed and Breakfast Inn perched atop an island in the straits that separate San Francisco and San Pablo Bays. Reading the descriptions, I knew I’d found our adventure.
At 4pm we were to meet at the Point San Pablo Yacht Harbor in Richmond California for a short boat ride to the island. The website cautioned that the road to the harbor was not well maintained. It also stressed that depending on the tides you needed to be able to exit a bobbing boat by climbing a ladder from four to ten feet. The only water source on the island is rain collected in cisterns, so showers could not be provided for guests staying only one night. Already I was excited.
The yacht harbor (I’m using the term loosely) was weathered but proved adequate for our host to dock and load for our ferry to the island. Arriving at the island, our climb up the ladder to shore was only four feet. No problem.
Our evening began with hosts Elan and Katey serving us champagne and hors d’oeuvres outdoors to enjoy the wonderful weather and gorgeous views of the bay and city of San Francisco off in the distance. Only three of the five rooms in the Inn were rented so six of us shared the island for the night. Our conversations, lively and interesting, carried on throughout a delicious multi-course dinner with wines selected to complement and into the unseasonably warm night air.
We stayed in the Marin Room, the view breathtaking. I already miss seeing the stars over the bay with Mount Tamalpias in the background. In the morning, enjoying our gourmet breakfast, all agreed our time there went by WAY to quickly. Leaving at low tide, we did get one last adrenaline rush climbing down the ladder about ten feet to our waiting boat.
So many places we travel remind us of other places we have been. This uniquely, wonderful experience was one we'll always remember!
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Inner Fitness
Exercise is my nemesis. I have been in and out shape for nearly fifty five years. As I grow older, I want to keep moving, running, dancing, jumping (not that much jumping) but you get the idea. I want to keep my body limber and my muscles strong, but I resist an exercise routine.
Last fall was the closest I've come to a consistent commitment in years, but I “fell off the wagon.” Where is my “inner coach” when I need her?
I’m wondering if my problem is the word “exercise” or the word “routine.” My days free flow and create themselves many times, but I don’t think I’m allergic to routines. I think it’s the E-word “exercise.” It carries so much negative connotation for me, all the broken promises to myself.
Yesterday, I tried unsuccessfully to motivate myself to take a long walk or go to the gym. Then I remembered a trick I learned last February on my Florida trip. I stopped calling it “exercise or gym” and started calling it “meditation.” Knowing myself better is something I value, so spending an hour dedicated to “meditating” on me seems worthwhile and something I don’t resist.
The “meditation” just happens to take place at California Family Fitness on the wave machine where I practice being in the present moment. Yeah, I can still use headphones and watch the HGTV if I want to or listen to the music channel, but it’s “me” time. Time dedicated to finding me or losing me, whichever I need at that moment.
Is there a goal or an intention that keeps eluding you? Try looking at it through new eyes. Use a new word, one that aligns with your purpose and see if that small shift in words, creates a big shift in your perception. It did for me.
Last fall was the closest I've come to a consistent commitment in years, but I “fell off the wagon.” Where is my “inner coach” when I need her?
I’m wondering if my problem is the word “exercise” or the word “routine.” My days free flow and create themselves many times, but I don’t think I’m allergic to routines. I think it’s the E-word “exercise.” It carries so much negative connotation for me, all the broken promises to myself.
Yesterday, I tried unsuccessfully to motivate myself to take a long walk or go to the gym. Then I remembered a trick I learned last February on my Florida trip. I stopped calling it “exercise or gym” and started calling it “meditation.” Knowing myself better is something I value, so spending an hour dedicated to “meditating” on me seems worthwhile and something I don’t resist.
The “meditation” just happens to take place at California Family Fitness on the wave machine where I practice being in the present moment. Yeah, I can still use headphones and watch the HGTV if I want to or listen to the music channel, but it’s “me” time. Time dedicated to finding me or losing me, whichever I need at that moment.
Is there a goal or an intention that keeps eluding you? Try looking at it through new eyes. Use a new word, one that aligns with your purpose and see if that small shift in words, creates a big shift in your perception. It did for me.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Affirmations
I love affirmations and have used them for years to program myself with positive and uplifting thoughts that motivate me. Lately, it’s becoming clear to me that WORDS MATTER even more than I originally thought. What we tell ourselves, the story we tell ourselves about who we are, determines WHO WE ARE!
If we tell ourselves when things get tough we always quit, guess what, when things get tough, WE WILL QUIT. Let’s start right NOW and tell ourselves a positive story, one that focuses on what we do well, things we succeed at, things we are proud of, things we dream about. You know this story, you're just not used to telling it.
I admit it isn't easy to change our thinking, let’s face it most of us remember negative events because they are so emotionally charged. But with a little effort and training, we can learn to focus on the good in our lives.
Affirmations help us do just that. They serve as a visual reminder of our intention, what we want to accomplish, where we want our energy to flow. We all learn through repetition (remember memorizing your multiplication tables?) Looking at an affirmation card and repeating its message strengthens our beliefs and convictions. Using this process, we learn to give ourselves what we so freely give to others, praise, love, encouragement, understanding, kindness, and compassion.
My current affirmation is “Practice being kind to yourself, the results will amaze you!” Try it, and let me know what happens.
If we tell ourselves when things get tough we always quit, guess what, when things get tough, WE WILL QUIT. Let’s start right NOW and tell ourselves a positive story, one that focuses on what we do well, things we succeed at, things we are proud of, things we dream about. You know this story, you're just not used to telling it.
I admit it isn't easy to change our thinking, let’s face it most of us remember negative events because they are so emotionally charged. But with a little effort and training, we can learn to focus on the good in our lives.
Affirmations help us do just that. They serve as a visual reminder of our intention, what we want to accomplish, where we want our energy to flow. We all learn through repetition (remember memorizing your multiplication tables?) Looking at an affirmation card and repeating its message strengthens our beliefs and convictions. Using this process, we learn to give ourselves what we so freely give to others, praise, love, encouragement, understanding, kindness, and compassion.
My current affirmation is “Practice being kind to yourself, the results will amaze you!” Try it, and let me know what happens.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
My Inner Coach
In case you are wondering what I am up to, I spend time writing on my blog (thanks for reading), developing a website to sell personalized photo inspirations (half done), and reading three inspirational books (various stages of completion) all at the same time…..well not simultaneously. I switch back and forth between activities depending on my interest.
I’ll give you the short version of what I have learned so far….I have defined “My Life’s Purpose” (see below) into a single sentence that will become my living instructions (Coaching the Artist Within, Eric Maisel). The book is also teaching me to become my own coach, a really fun activity for goofy people like me who enjoy role playing. I’m finding practical application for this technique throughout my life…..more to come in a later post.
I have defined my dreams, then expanded them to something five times greater, and then recognized and credited myself for things that I have already accomplished on the path to them (The Nine Modern Day Muses and a Bodyguard, Jill Baldwin Badonsky, M.E.d.) Are you tired yet? I am a little.
"Bea Silly" is by far my favorite of The Nine Modern Day Muses, and the bodyguard, ARNOLD, is incredibly helpful. I can summon him whenever someone or something attempts to thwart my creativity. I have already called on him once, and he fixed it right up. Yes, he is named after the “Govenator” and yes “HE’LL BE BACK!”
Some call all this jumping around “ADD.” To me it feels more like an open mind inviting different kinds of stimulation at different times. I certainly need to be in my serious frame of mind to work on the website. I learn and then re-teach myself so many things, but I do like the way it’s turning out. So that makes it all worthwhile.
My inner coach might ask “What are you doing to make your dreams come true? And I would have to answer “a lot, but I have barely "scratched the surface" there is so much more to come.” And my coach would say “good on you, keep it coming!”
I’ll give you the short version of what I have learned so far….I have defined “My Life’s Purpose” (see below) into a single sentence that will become my living instructions (Coaching the Artist Within, Eric Maisel). The book is also teaching me to become my own coach, a really fun activity for goofy people like me who enjoy role playing. I’m finding practical application for this technique throughout my life…..more to come in a later post.
I have defined my dreams, then expanded them to something five times greater, and then recognized and credited myself for things that I have already accomplished on the path to them (The Nine Modern Day Muses and a Bodyguard, Jill Baldwin Badonsky, M.E.d.) Are you tired yet? I am a little.
"Bea Silly" is by far my favorite of The Nine Modern Day Muses, and the bodyguard, ARNOLD, is incredibly helpful. I can summon him whenever someone or something attempts to thwart my creativity. I have already called on him once, and he fixed it right up. Yes, he is named after the “Govenator” and yes “HE’LL BE BACK!”
Some call all this jumping around “ADD.” To me it feels more like an open mind inviting different kinds of stimulation at different times. I certainly need to be in my serious frame of mind to work on the website. I learn and then re-teach myself so many things, but I do like the way it’s turning out. So that makes it all worthwhile.
My inner coach might ask “What are you doing to make your dreams come true? And I would have to answer “a lot, but I have barely "scratched the surface" there is so much more to come.” And my coach would say “good on you, keep it coming!”
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Present Moment
We are so conditioned to project ourselves into the future or beat ourselves up about the past that we fail to recognize the power and wonder of living in the present moment.
I’m gaining perspective on “presence” studying A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. Each weekly web class hosted by Eckhart & Oprah begins with thirty seconds of silence, where we focus our attention on our body’s internal functions (like breathing in and out) and away from thinking. This process provides a glimpse into experiencing the present moment.
The present moment is the only thing that we have for certain. The past is behind us and the future only a hope, not a promise. When you practice living in the present moment, you gain a clarity that allows you to see through new eyes your place in the world and to honor it.
It’s not too late to experience your own awakening. Each week Eckhart & Oprah discuss a chapter of A New Earth. Next week, Chapter 7 Finding Who You Truly Are according to Oprah is a great place to join in. You can catch up after that by going back and listening to previous classes. Check it out at http://www.oprah.com/.
I’m gaining perspective on “presence” studying A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. Each weekly web class hosted by Eckhart & Oprah begins with thirty seconds of silence, where we focus our attention on our body’s internal functions (like breathing in and out) and away from thinking. This process provides a glimpse into experiencing the present moment.
The present moment is the only thing that we have for certain. The past is behind us and the future only a hope, not a promise. When you practice living in the present moment, you gain a clarity that allows you to see through new eyes your place in the world and to honor it.
It’s not too late to experience your own awakening. Each week Eckhart & Oprah discuss a chapter of A New Earth. Next week, Chapter 7 Finding Who You Truly Are according to Oprah is a great place to join in. You can catch up after that by going back and listening to previous classes. Check it out at http://www.oprah.com/.
Monday, April 7, 2008
We Can Learn Anything
I read an article years ago that inspired and left a lasting impression on me. It stated “WE CAN LEARN ANYTHING.” I questioned the hypothesis, but kept reading. It went on to say “we can learn anything if we are willing to spend the amount of time necessary to learn it.” The amount of time necessary varies widely based on an individual’s abilities and experience.
Interesting, could this explain why I dropped Chemistry and took Geology and Mineralogy, affectionately known at Ohio State as Rocks for Jocks? Identifying halite by licking it to check for saltiness, held far more appeal to me than memorizing the periodic table. I tried not to think about all those who had licked the rocks before me.
At times, I have resisted learning all together, especially about computers. When I had problems, I called my husband and he would solve them for me. The system worked great until he tired of my relentless demands forcing me to begin my twenty year computer learning journey (still in progress).
I am happy to report that my skills go way beyond the basic now, we joke that I am Tech Level II bordering on Tech Level III. I set up this blog, okay admittedly not that hard, but I also taught myself MS FrontPage using tutorials. It took a lot of time and several passes to complete. I’m not a quick learner, but I was willing to spend whatever time it took because I was developing a website for a business that I plan to launch soon that sells personalized, photo inspirations.
The idea that "WE CAN LEARN ANYTHING" is empowering. Whatever I haven’t "gotten a good handle on” yet just has not shown up on my radar screen as important enough for me to spend the time to master.
I like knowing that I haven’t missed anything, whatever I want to learn is waiting out there for me. All I have to do is decide that it is important to me, and then spend whatever time and resources it takes to learn it.
That puts ME in charge of what I know. That is power.
Interesting, could this explain why I dropped Chemistry and took Geology and Mineralogy, affectionately known at Ohio State as Rocks for Jocks? Identifying halite by licking it to check for saltiness, held far more appeal to me than memorizing the periodic table. I tried not to think about all those who had licked the rocks before me.
At times, I have resisted learning all together, especially about computers. When I had problems, I called my husband and he would solve them for me. The system worked great until he tired of my relentless demands forcing me to begin my twenty year computer learning journey (still in progress).
I am happy to report that my skills go way beyond the basic now, we joke that I am Tech Level II bordering on Tech Level III. I set up this blog, okay admittedly not that hard, but I also taught myself MS FrontPage using tutorials. It took a lot of time and several passes to complete. I’m not a quick learner, but I was willing to spend whatever time it took because I was developing a website for a business that I plan to launch soon that sells personalized, photo inspirations.
The idea that "WE CAN LEARN ANYTHING" is empowering. Whatever I haven’t "gotten a good handle on” yet just has not shown up on my radar screen as important enough for me to spend the time to master.
I like knowing that I haven’t missed anything, whatever I want to learn is waiting out there for me. All I have to do is decide that it is important to me, and then spend whatever time and resources it takes to learn it.
That puts ME in charge of what I know. That is power.
Friday, April 4, 2008
Birth Announcement
There I did it……I sent out a birth announcement for my blog.
You can’t imagine how hard it was for me to actually invite and share with friends and family what is inspiring me, total strangers I was fine with, but friends and family, scary. I have always been interested in writing….well art too….well decorating also….well those who know me know I have no shortage of interests.
When the new year rolled around, I started focusing again on writing, this time in classes with Mary Anne Radmacher http://www.maryanneradmacher.com/ and I haven’t looked back. The blog gives me an opportunity to share my writing and hear from others about their own journey, too. I love that!
I’ve found my voice and love writing about everything that interests me. I hope you’ll enjoy reading some of it and comment some, too. There’s no stopping me now!
You can’t imagine how hard it was for me to actually invite and share with friends and family what is inspiring me, total strangers I was fine with, but friends and family, scary. I have always been interested in writing….well art too….well decorating also….well those who know me know I have no shortage of interests.
When the new year rolled around, I started focusing again on writing, this time in classes with Mary Anne Radmacher http://www.maryanneradmacher.com/ and I haven’t looked back. The blog gives me an opportunity to share my writing and hear from others about their own journey, too. I love that!
I’ve found my voice and love writing about everything that interests me. I hope you’ll enjoy reading some of it and comment some, too. There’s no stopping me now!
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