When did “present moment living” take up residence? I’m not certain. During the past two years it’s dropped in and visited. Unexpectedly at first, but a welcome surprise of unparalleled experience. It’s like the infatuation stage of love. Everything looks different, smells different, tastes different, colors shine brighter, meaning becomes obvious, street signs look foreign and new, the world opens before your eyes in a way it has never done before. Did I mention the peacefulness? Oh it is truly blissful I’ll even say “to die for.” Turns out you don’t have to.
I want it to stay forever when it comes, but like a rootless drifter it arrives and leaves on its own schedule. Eventually, I do start sensing its pending arrival. I notice the signs and start inviting it with my best “come hither” and am blessed with remarkable experiences of vividly amazing days that eventually grow into weeks. But still it continues to slip away in the night without so much as a post-it note. But now my unpredictable houseguest/friend has officially moved in and I couldn’t be happier, seriously, no seriously! Its presence is glaringly obvious this holiday season.
I no longer argue with the reality of “what is.” Bob had surgery. I’m not a hero or superhuman. Yes, I am brave and happy for that. But I don’t have to attach a story to it, I simply experience it, lived it, and it’s manageable. Just like not going home for Christmas. Several times, I have been tempted to attach a story to it like that “for fifty-seven years I've spent the holidays with my family” making it BIG. But when I'm present and experience it without a story, it’s not big or sad. It’s actually very peaceful. Like the oyster, I have rubbed up against enough sand that a metamorphosis has occurred and something beautiful has been created inside of me. I always thought acceptance involved the surrendering of your power. It turns out that it involves the surrendering of your stories and the acceptance of your power. “Who knew?
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