Would I give you a kidney?

That’s when you know you have cracked into my inner-most sanctum. The holiest of all holy places….that is if you need a kidney.

It is probably inappropriate, okay no probably about it, inappropriate to evaluate friendships and acquaintances this way. But simply saying “I’ve got your back” or “I’d go to the wall for you” is too vague for me. I'd give you a kidney says it all, no wiggle room.

Some who have earned a spot on my “kidney list” would surprise you, like my old cleaning lady Maxine. At sixty-five, she could clean circles around me and was one of the kindest, most hard-working individuals I have ever met. Her advanced age made her addition to the list even more notable, because she may have taken me up on it. But I loved her. I cried when I left her behind in Columbus and moved here.

If you have my enduring love, chances are good that you are on the “kidney list” (BTW it’s a mental list). I do pray nightly for everyone on the list. I pray that you are well and that your kidneys never fail!

Footnote #1: I wrote this “tongue-in-cheek” because I’m always saying “willy-nilly” that I would give a kidney to this person or that person. When I read this piece of writing to my husband he thought it was serious and sweet. How did you take it???? And more importantly do you think my marriage has a chance?????? :)

Footnote #2: The easiest way to respond is to click “leave a comment.” Then in the box write your comment and sign it so I know who you are. Then type in the word verification and select the “Anonymous” box, then click “publish your comment.” Hope to hear from you. Caren

My New Year’s Resolution for 2009 is

To stop over-achieving. It’s showing up in everything I do from writing an email to making food for parties. For some crazy reason, I seem to always “go the extra mile” and then one more for good measure. At times this can be good, but as an overall strategy for living, bad.

Sometimes, it is “the thought that counts.” I don’t have to type perfect emails or say perfect things or make the most creative dishes for EVERY party. Parties are about people not about perfect dishes and life is about connecting not about perfect wishes.

So, in 2009, I will “stop and smell the roses,” remember to enjoy being a gracious guest, and let other people lead me sometimes. I will replace my need to get everything right with an acceptance that I am all right, just the way I am. Ahhhh, that sounds really good to me right now.

You could say posting this on my blog before noon on New Year’s Day sparks of over-achieving, and I might have to agree with you. But hey, it’s day one and I’m going to cut myself a little slack. See it’s working already!

My Wish

I missed my leather loveseat, the one I curl up on to think and veg. I missed the blue sky and abundant sunshine visible from my loveseat perch. I missed the multitude of things here that make me, me.

If I could pack them all up (sunshine included) and bring them back to Ohio, I’d be on the next plane, because NOW I miss all of you!

All of you who laugh and cry with me, celebrate and commiserate with me, witness my resolution or revolution (depending on the day).

Walking my own path and creating my future while staying true to my past is one of my greatest challenges. I hope you all KNOW and FEEL the love, care, and respect I have for you. You are my family, my friends, my heart.

My wish for everyone in 2009 is for moments of joy like no other, bright eyes that reflect that joy back into the world, and an open heart to embrace all that we can do and be.

Happy New Year!

♥Caren

Unconditional Love

Rhonda Britten writes in her book Fearless Living about seeing the innocence in all people. I strive to incorporate this principle in my own life. We ALL try to do the best we can every day, and when we can stop imposing our expectations onto each other, we receive a wonderful gift, peace.

Today I was reminded of this lesson, the importance of seeing the innocence in everyone. The hidden benefit of practicing this philosophy is that you also get to experience the innocence in yourself. You learn to forgive your imperfections, applaud your growth, and practice giving yourself unconditional love.

Reflection

Even before I had left Sacramento, I felt myself expanding, and my adventure was just beginning.

I preselected classes, choosing from some old favorites like Gary Zukav and Byron Katie and some presenters new to me like Michael Losier - The Law of Attraction and Toe Reading by K.C. Miller.

The speakers were as varied as the seekers. Class topics included inspiration, gratitude, change, the science of miracles, self-care, the Law of Attraction, stress to strength, shaman healing, brain theory, the Moses Code, positive energy, healing arts, channeling, and talking to the dead.

As I browsed the vendor booths, I was immediately struck by the diversity of interests. To get a jump on one of my planned classes for the next day I got in line for a toe reading. The woman in line behind me read fingerprints, so while we waited she told me what my fingertips revealed. When it was my turn, Laurie, my toe reader was energetic and embraced my feet. Apparently, I have queen and princess qualities (go figure). The only negative was that my pinkies are facing outward which means that I am focused on the future.

The keynote speakers were amazing. Maryanne Williamson was excited about the election as were most presenters. They feel Obama’s election signals a positive shift in the consciousness of the world. Wayne Dyer was inspiring, so entertaining, so human. I was reminded of what originally attracted me to his work back in the 80’s. James Van Praagh was funny, entertaining, and passed on very specific messages from the dead.

I got my own message of sorts, not from the keynote but from a woman a sitting at the end of the row in front of me. She passed me a card that read “You have a big guy fairly bald with you – laughing.” That is a perfect description of my father who has passed, and my mother always says he is probably up there laughing at us.

I found myself engaged, focused, writing, and contemplating ideas the entire weekend. It was a joyous time then and a wonderful treasured memory now.

Off to See the Wizard

I've discovered that the road to insight is a long lifetime journey. Sometimes significant discoveries appear around almost every corner, other times they seem miles, days, even years apart.

One thing I know for sure is that I don’t get to control the timing, instead it is a beautiful dance where I must trust, be lead, and follow.

I’m taking a “road trip” to insight this weekend at the Celebrate Your Life conference in Phoenix sponsored by Oprah & Friends.

Some of the greatest minds in spiritual pursuit and inspirational teaching will be gathered there. Alumni like Wayne Dyer, one of my favorite original self-help gurus dating back to the eighties (remember the 80’s) will be there. Mary Ann Williamson, James Van Praagh and so many other recognizable names in the industry, like Gary Zukav, Michael Losier (contribritor to The Secret), Byron Katie (author of Loving What Is), Cherly Richardson, John Holland, Dr. Jo Dipenza, John Holland and the list goes on and on.

I’ll report back next week on how the dance went.

Instrumental

A friend said to me “when you returned from FL last winter you had a clarity about yourself and your writing” (or something to that effect). I say “something to the effect” because we ALL hear and remember things through our own filters and I have carried this thought around with me for some time considering it.

I was trying to understand and reconcile why I didn’t always operate from that space of clarity gained through discovering “stillness” in Florida.

I rationalized that everyday life calls for all kinds of energy and intensity to achieve goals. But that didn’t quite fit for me. Today, I found my answer. People often describe life by saying you "take two steps forward one step backward." I describe life as as a circle of three steps, "learn, practice, rest." The steps are not always linear, and all three are equally important.

You don’t pick up a violin and play beautiful music immediately, you learn, you practice and then eventually most times when you pick up the instrument you hear a beautiful song.

I AM MY INSTRUMENT. I am learning, practicing, or resting all the time. The more practiced I become, the more beautiful my spirit song, and the closer I get to rediscovering that place of stillness and clarity deep inside me.