Surrender Is Not a Cinch

A part of what I am learning and writing about is surrende. Not surrender as in defeat, surrender as in acceptance of “what is.” Living without the expectation that things should be different than they are.

Some say that when you stop needing something you get it. That seems to cynical to me. I think that when you release your attachment to needing something, you may still want it, it often manifests.

Here’s an example. You’ll laugh when you realize that this is about Cinch glass cleaner. I have love, love, love this cleaner. The smell is so clean and it doesn’t streak and leaves countertops sparkling, need I say more.

Last winter the two stores where I buy it stopped carrying it and couldn't special order it for me.

So what did I do? I Googled searched it and found it was available but only to large janitorial supply customers. So I forgot about it for a while, but like a pesky itch, I knew that I would eventually scratch it again.

This week I could resist no longer. Again I Googled it. This time I found it from an online retailer but the shipping costs were more than the product. I have an aversion to that, so I bailed. I decided that I was delaying the inevitable, I surrendered.

But didn't completely give up. I found a website that told me that the main ingredient in Cinch was (Isopropanol a.k.a alcohol) and they listed a glass cleaner with Isopropanol in it.

With the surrender to my obsession with Cinch behind me, the hunt was on for the new similar formula product. Some might say this was a replaced obsession, and they could be right. After searching in five different stores, I began to doubt this product’s existence. I decide to check one more store before surrendering completely.

I scan the shelves, no sighting of the new product, damn. I turn to leave and the heavens open and choirs of angels sing and out of the corner of my eye glowing on the bottom shelf I SEE CINCH! I am so excited you would think I’d won the lottery. This orange trophy is more valuable to me than an Academy Award. I buy all the bottles I can carry (four).

I need to practice this surrender thing. My Cinch quest lasted six months, that’s a long time to devote to a glass cleaner, but in my defense it isn’t just ANY glass cleaner.

Biking Queen

I joined Bob's bike riding group this morning and rode 20 miles. This is quite an accomplishment for me. I have to say I am a little bit sore in some unusual places. I don't care what that guy at the bike shop says, I'm buying the biggest gel seat I can find before my next ride. Bob stayed home today because his toe has started hurting AGAIN! Drats!

It's smoking hot here today, temps approaching 100. I want to jump in the pool and cool off, but I can't because I used the last of the sunscreen for my ride.

We can't go out because we have no sunscreen and we have no sunscreen because we can't go out. If I remember correctly, that is a tautology. I knew that Logic class would come in handy someday. OOH, I just found a new word for it "circumlocution." Try fitting that into a sentence.

Enough of my roundabouts! I'm off to buy sunscreen!

Cheerio

I got up and decided that today is the day I become accountable for the calories I put into my mouth. Okay, backstory, my sister went on the Flat Belly Diet and looks and feels great and yes I am a little jealous. Not of her success, but of the fact that I STILL wince when I look at myself in pictures, and I'm betting that she doesn't, okay maybe she still does, but that's beside the point, or is it?

I measure my Cheerios, damn, I've been eating more than a normal portion and my milk is almost twice the desired amount. Okay, good data point, keep going. My goal for over a year has been to break into the 160's, I'll take 169.5. All those 12 hour days and 4 flights of stairs I ran up and down in Florida have provided me with an unexpected bonus, I am closer than ever to meeting that goal. So I figure if my sister (who never counted a calorie in her life) can do it, so can I.

Realistically, I know I'll probably still wince when I see photos of myself. Heck, I wince at other people's plastic surgery faces. Most look frightenly freakish. Is that what I want? I'm guessing that wincing might just come with the aging territory. All my wisdom had to accumulate somewhere. I glance in the mirror, I'm pretty sure it's in my chins. I feel a lot smarter now.

Your Hidden Talent

Laughter was what our 3-day girlfriend cruise to Ensenada was all about, that and friendship. We laughed so much our stomachs hurt like we’d done 1000 crunches or what we think that might feel like of course none of us really know.

I brought along a “Chat Pack” of cards with questions to use to spark conversations. We also copied some questions off our Southwest free drink coupons like “What is your pet peeve? The back of the card suggested after people answered to start doing their pet peeve.

We discovered that we hate it when people are late, say “where are you at?” bite their nails, act mean and five other things I can’t remember. It never failed to get a laugh when any one of us started to do something from the list or pointed out a nail bitter in the crowd.

Another question was “What is one thing that you can do that no one else here can do?” We had one person who could tie a cherry stem with her tongue, I blog, one claimed to be the fastest at teeth flossing, another had the private number of a celebrity that she could call to party with (hint initials K.R.). It sparked a lot of entertaining conversations.

Laughter IS the best medicine (that and white wine). Laugh till it hurts is a good motto, but we didn’t stop there. Children laugh all the time, adults wait for something funny to happen. Let’s change that!

Make me laugh, tell me your hidden talent.

The Future is Now

I put a picture on my vision board of a man and woman sitting cross-legged on opposite ends of a sofa typing on laptop computers. At the top of the picture, I attached a pre-printed caption “I am in partnership with the universe” and underneath in black sharpie marker I wrote “Work with Bob.”

When I wrote this I was thinking about some grand, amazing project in the future. But as we worked together and sorted through the process of buying our home in Panama City Beach (PCB), I realized I already had what I was wishing for.

Neither of us had classical buyers remorse, but in the beginning, I had nights where the knots in my stomach begged the question “are you sure?” In the middle of the night, I found myself crawling to Bob's side of the bed for reassurance. Bob ALWAYS had my answers. He reminded me of all the sound logic we used making the decision and when his his doubts came I answered them, just as he had for me.

Bob and I ARE in true partnership. Whenever I need one he is my rock and whenever he needs one I am his. A valuable, unspoken rule in our relationship is “no mutual freak outs.” We take turns.

This new phase of our lives has reconnected us and reminded us of all the things that make our partnership work. What a gift! The end of April we celebrate our 29th wedding anniversary. We are THE A-TEAM and we “pity the fool” that tries to get in our way!

Left, Right, Left, Right

It has been far too long since my pen touched paper or more appropriately my fingers touched the keyboard and I shared my thoughts.

What a whirlwind! Our February trip to Panama City Beach turned into mission to buy a second home. We closed escrow Thursday on a fabulous place by the sea (okay the Gulf). We are so excited to own a place where we can be close to Matt, Sarah, and baby-to-be and have beautiful weather and breathtaking views.

Life DOES come down to the details. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. Our mission became to find our dream place in time to use a loan product set to expire the following week. All that was left after that was to navigate our way through the entire process. That's all!

People think that to achieve something you have to know how to do it before you start. Although some knowledge is helpful, most times we learn how to do things by simply doing them. Every day we put one foot in front of the other and tackle the details until all the steps are taken and the job is complete and voila, SUCCESS!

The Hokey Pokey

I’m doing the hokey pokey. I stick my right foot in and take my right foot out, but I never get to the part where I put my whole self in.

“That’s sad” I say to myself. Then I add “MOST people don’t even put a foot in,” to which I counter “you are NOT most people.” Huh, this argument sounds familiar.

It’s in there, I know it is, I discovered it a while ago. What do I get from holding it back, security? What will I gain from being fearless and unleashing it? I will be ALL in…no more hokey pokey.